Many have asked for a primer on Thrive and what makes up the heart of missional community.  Attached is our six core elements.  You can download it here.

This is a fascinating conversation by Ed Stetzer on missional communities.  In it he discusses the shift in culture from a stage model to a community model.  Very much worth the time.

I just had an amazing conversation with a very good friend about the nature of loneliness.  So many people I know have a big family, a lot of friends, a great career, a large house, and so many of the trimmings that come with the American lifestyle.  They have it all.  By most standards of the world, they are rich.

But deep down they are incredibly lonely.

I can see it in their face.  They’ve accumulated for so long they don’t know how to do anything else.  And it doesn’t work.  And they don’t know how to do anything else.

Loneliness is an American dream byproduct.  We are force fed this erroneous idea that to have all the stuff makes us happy.  And it doesn’t.  We’re rich in stuff but poor in relationship.  We’ve learned to accumulate things but have abandoned any sense of ability to invest in meaningful dialogs of the heart.

What if true wealth is the presence of these relationships in our lives?

What if the call to love your neighbor as yourself is really a call about us finding that true wealth?

What if being blessed comes in being a blessing to other people, to let go of our stuff?

Because in the end, when we’re on our death bed, we don’t seek out the presence of our stuff.  We want people around us.  We want to know be with those who have been part of our life.

Because who do we remember?  We remember the people that take the time to invest in us, who took the time to step out of their own journey for a second and engage who is going on in our lives.  In fact, true maturity is the ability to step out of that self-interest.  It’s the ability to transcend our own selfishness.

What I see people truly looking for is people they can trust.  We need people in our lives.  We’re designed for connection and relationship.  It is not good to be alone.  And much of the journey of working out our own restoration is moving past the chaos of relationships and into the space of trust that transcends that chaos. And when we do, we have people by our side that we can call friends.

But to do that we must first become participants in our own restoration.  We must first be willing to be the one to trust.  We must first give what we are seeking.

So will you?

If you are interested in stepping out of loneliness and discovering a deeper wealth, we’d like to invite you to consider following Jesus. Contact us today to get a free digital copy of our leadership manual.

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Jonathan Brink is the Managing Director of Thrive Ministries. He wouldn’t trade the world for the joy that comes from his tribe.

The other day my tribe had a very deep conversation about how valuable our experience together has been after two years together.  We were recognizing that we had reached a space of shared trust that was unique in our lives.  And I commented to the group that this authentic community we were experiencing was earned.  It came BECAUSE we had taken the risk to journey together.  It came because we had done the hard work of relationship.  The valuable was made possible because we were willing to face our fears.  We had discovered that those fears did not define us.  We had discovered that authentic community really was possible.

And this moment really stood out to me.  It was the recognition that authentic community is not cheap.  It must be earned.  If it were easy, everyone would experience it.  But it’s not easy.  It’s hard.  It means facing our fears in relationships and working through our salvation in a meaningful way.

And the hardest part in sharing with people about Thrive is that this awareness of authentic community cannot be given.  It can be shared but it must be earned. And as much as I want to just give this to people, I can’t.  I can’t reach in, pull it out and place it in other people.  It is an experience that must be worked for.

And then I came across this short video by author and pastor Shane Hipps explores the four necessary ingredients for authentic community.

Shared History: It helps establish a sense of identity and belonging.

Permanence: Something fixed or consistent.  It is how you get shared history.

Proximity: You have to be with one another over time to create a meaningful connections.

Shared Imagination of the Future: A sense of we’re all going in the same direction.

And I realized that these were keys ingredients in the context of Thrive.  Each was a critical part of what we were doing together in our tribes.  We didn’t invent any of these ingredients.  We had just discovered them as part of what we were doing.

Shared history only comes through time and trust.  We needed a space of sharing our histories, our lives, our struggles in a space of honesty. We needed a space in our lives to deal with what is really happening in our world and in our heart.  And unless we actually stepped into a space of trust and shared our stories, we missed one of the key ingredients.

Permanence comes through having something consistent.  We use a protocol that helps foster dialog about our own restoration.  We stick with God’s narrative as a story of what God has already done and what we get to participate in.  This consistency creates a trust in the process because we know what we’re getting into on a regular basis.

Proximity means gathering together consistently.  We have to be together in the same room on a regular basis.  We have to be in the same room to hear the stories and experience each other’s work, struggles, joys and restoration.  When we don’t show up we miss those stories that just might have been what we needed to hear.

Shared Imagination for us in Thrive groups is engaging God’s mission of restoration and reconciliation. It means following in the footsteps of Jesus and participating in what God is already doing.  Many call this communitas, or community in mission together.  We are in essence designed to look like Jesus.

Hipps commented that a Shared Imagination of the Future was the hardest of the four.  I wrestle with that in some respects because our future is found in Jesus.  The image is there.  But gaining an understanding of what that truly looks like in our lives from experience is the hardest, because it first means going through our brokenness.  It means stepping out of our comfort zones and protective mechanisms.  And we hate doing that.

But I would offer that the journey together is worth it.

If you are looking to create this type of space, we can help.  Contact us today to get a free digital copy of our leadership manual.

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Jonathan Brink is the Managing Director of Thrive Ministries.  He digs exploring what Jesus is doing in today’s world and reveling in that.

Lately I’ve been getting the same question.  What’s Thrive really about?

It’s really a great question because pastors and leaders typically want to know if we’re just like everything else they have seen.  Are we simply a Bible study for small groups?  And the answer is no.  We’re actually very different than what people are used to.  Our primary mission is not giving people the right answers as much as it is in helping them discover what it means to follow Jesus so they can discover the right person.  So then what is a Thrive group?  What do you do that makes you different?

And the answer is love and trust.

Central to the story in Scripture is this idea that the footsteps of following Jesus leads to a very different way of being human, of transformation at the very basic level.  And that way of being human is summed up in the two practices of love and trust. Jesus modeled a very missional way of life, of engaging something bigger than ourselves.  He invited people to participate in what God was already doing, the Missio Dei.

As we begin to follow Jesus, He immediately leads us back to the Father, which addresses the fundamental disconnect that happened in the Garden.  And as we embrace this relationship, he empowers us with the Holy Spirit, who then transformed us inwardly to become like Jesus.  This being loved process allows us to love.

But how often do we have a space to work out the tension inherent in the restoration process?  How often do we really have a space to work out our questions, and doubts and wounds that cripple even the best of us.  Where do we go to find healing?

So Thrive groups are about working out love and trust in a Tribe.  It’s about working out the junk that gets in the way of our own restoration, in an authentic community that is willing to be love in the process. And not the sticky sweet kind of love that rescues someone from facing the chaos, but the kind that walks through the chaos together, so we can reach the other side.  It’s engaging God’s mission of restoration together in communitas, or community in mission.  And a long the way we discover that this is how Jesus did it.  Three years together in mission.  It was a natural leadership development process through experience.

And when the three years were over, each tribe was ready to go outward and lead others in their own restoration.  They had practiced love and trust in a very trust setting.  They had practiced engaging mission.  And they went out not because they had to, but because they saw that their own restoration was intimately tied to helping others through their own restoration.

So that’s what makes us different.

If you are looking to create this type of space, we can help.  Contact us today to get a free digital copy of our leadership manual.

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Jonathan Brink is the Managing Director of Thrive Ministries.  He lives in Folsom, Ca with his wife and three kids.  He loves Sharks hockey, Peets coffee and good sushi.

What if you gave it just one more try?

I often hear from others how they are longing for close relationships. They wish they had a group of people they could meet with where genuine closeness could develop. Whether interacting with people online or in real life, the same cry rises up again and again: “Why can’t I find a group of people where I can be myself, where I can truly be known, and can really come to know others?” Many are longing for intimacy, for that safe space where they can be authentic and vulnerable, allowing their true selves to be seen and embraced by others.

With so many people wanting the same thing, why is it that so few are able to find this? It seems a very common longing, so you’d think no matter where you would turn it would be easy to find, but that just isn’t so. I think I’m beginning to discover the answer: Even though we are created for intimacy and we long for it, very few of us actually know how to enter into that type of relationship.

Longing for something doesn’t make it magically appear. I know that has certainly been true of the group I meet with. We had tried different forms of meetings for over a decade. We tried “organic” meetings where we determined that Christ alone would be the head of the meeting. We had many dinners and bonfires together. We did bible and book studies. We had prayer meetings. We had nights of worship. Furthermore, prior to that decade of attempts many of us had been part of cell groups, home fellowships, and small group studies. Many of these things were good and we certainly grew a little closer together throughout the years. However, we never gained what all of us were longing for. If effort and desire alone could produce genuine, authentic, deep vulnerability and intimacy we would have had them long ago. Words alone cannot describe the incredible commitment we had to finding what we were all looking for. Despite our commitment, it still was nowhere to be found.

We humans were created for intimacy, first with our creator and second with one another. It’s a longing in us no matter what culture we come from. But that deep longing by itself does not mean we will find the fulfillment of the desire of our heart. In fact, I believe that part of living in a fallen world ensures that we are not likely to stumble upon it even though the desire may be very strong within us. Most of us simply do not know how to have genuinely authentic, healing relationships with one another despite our earnest desire.

Our group has finally found what we have been longing for as we have learned how to develop a safe space of upholding each other’s dignity while being extremely vulnerable with each other. Here’s the surprise for me: It can be learned. We needed someone to teach us how to go down the path of vulnerability and authenticity together. We needed to learn how to navigate the brokenness that is in each of us in a way that brings restoration and wholeness, both to the individual and to the group. We needed someone to tell us that it was going to be very messy, chaotic at times, and show us how to navigate through the chaos. What we needed has come forth from our hearts as we’ve gone through the Thrive materials week after week.

This journey has enabled us all to be able crack open our hearts to reveal the deepest, most fearful and vulnerable parts of ourselves to one another. The questions asked called us out of hiding. The teachings made it safe to start to walk into the light. We had to be taught how to enter into what the Thrive materials call “communitas,” a place beyond just gathering together and having “fellowship” that moves us into restoration of our wounded hearts and lives, together. All of our effort and desire were of no value in getting us to where we wanted to be until we were led on this path of relating in new ways.

If you have the desire to meet in a real, authentic, and safe space but have tried and failed to achieve that more times than you care to admit, I’d invite you to try just one more time. Without exception, every single person in our group is so glad we took the risk to explore one more avenue. It turned out to be exactly what we needed and longed for.

I want to invite you to open your heart to the possibility that you, too, could learn with a group of people how to be authentic, real, and vulnerable as you walk the path of restoration together. It is such a remarkable journey.

What if there was only seven people that gathered as the church? Would seven be enough? Would Jesus still show up? Would Jesus still care? Would grace still appear? Would deep worship take place? Would an awe settle in? Would lives be changed? Would transformation happen? Would healing be present in hearts? Would the good news still be heard, lived, and experienced? Would Jesus and his way still be followed?  What if only seven gathered?

What if only seven people met as the church? Would Jesus still have died? Would God turned an ear? The Holy Spirit, would she reveal herself in flames and tongues once more? Would the atonement of all mankind still have happened if only seven ever listened and gathered? Would it? Would seven be enough?

I think it would be because all I know is a few nights ago seven of us met in a living room and experienced healing, and love, and God, and grace, and joy, and companionship, and brotherhood, and celebration, and a deep sense of awe like few of us have before.

It was a casual evening for our Thrive group as we were simply sharing a meal and catching up on each other’s lives a bit. To be honest I was just looking forward to the fellowship of some friends I hadn’t seen for a while (we are taking a break for the holidays until January). As the seven of us trickled in we clumped together to enjoy fellowship—some outside around the barbecuing tri-tip, some inside around the mashing of garlic potatoes, some just lounging at the breakfast bar enjoying wine. As the meal prep was finishing up a couple of us gathered around the table and a discussion of forgiveness and the atonement ensued. Some talked, others listened. The meal was placed on the table, someone quoted scripture from memory for our prayer and we ate and celebrated and laughed.

After dinner we cleaned up and I sat on the couch. I was a bit tired and sore so I mostly observed a conversation between two men about the issues going on in one of the man’s life. I was extremely blessed by simply listening to the honest and heart-felt dialogue/ministry taking place. Soon we were all gathered in the living room. The plan was to do an extended check in to see where each man was at and then watch a clip from the movie, The Mission. But God had other plans. It seemed as if one man in particular was heavily troubled. We asked him about it and he just opened up. Each man listened and when prompted by the Spirit offered council or asked a question or simply continued listening, quietly showing support. The Spirit’s presence and wisdom was clearly felt. We then circled around the man, laid our hands on him and prayed for him. The quietness after the prayer hung in the air like a light mist.

Our casual Thrive meal lasted nearly 4-hours as each man said their goodbyes and trickled back out the door. I and another were the last to leave and we spent a good ten minutes standing in the cold air by my Jeep recalling the night and the deep sense of awe we were feeling. I quietly drove home with no radio and let the evening sink into my heart.

Would seven be enough?

That evening God seemed to shout a resounding, Yes!

Billy Corgan, of Smashing Pumpkins, was interviewed in Risen Magazine and there’s an interesting exchange that caught my attention.

Risen Magazine: What do you look for in a friend?

Corgan: That they won’t leave; they really won’t leave.  I can’t say that about too many people.  If someone could peer into our darkest recess, would they stil love us?

We’re all looking for that aren’t we?  We’re looking for people who won’t leave. We’re looking for people who can look past our brokenness and see our dignity and and value; who can love.  These types of friends are very hard to find.

But not impossible.

This is part of what we are creating at Thrive.  We’re not just a small group program, but a space to create relationships of real value.  This space isn’t just authentic community, which has significant value.  It’s deeper than that.  It’s called communitas.   It’s a space to work through our brokenness and to experience that love in community; to see that type of love played out.  We believe that the fullest reflection of our humanity is to be that love to each other.

What is interesting about this type of experience is that it usually requires being a participant.  In other words, if you want to experience it, you also have to be willing to be that type of friend.  And this is the tension in the journey.  We know we want to be loved, but are we also willing to take the risk to be love for those around us when they need it.  Are we willing to reciprocate at just the right moment?

The risk is real.  People do walk away.  People do hurt us and leave.  But it doesn’t always have to be like this.  It is possible to create a space where people don’t leave.  And when it happens, we stand in awe of the presence of God.  We feel His touch in a way that leaves us transformed.

If you are looking to create this type of space, we can help.  Contact us today to get a free digital copy of our leadership manual.

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Jonathan Brink is the Managing Director of Thrive Ministires.  He lives in Folsom, Ca with his wife and three kids.  He loves Sharks hockey, Peets coffee and good sushi.

The Thrive group that I’m part of just finished our second quarter. We had a mini-retreat last weekend and we’ll be starting our third quarter next week.  I’ve been reflecting on our past two quarters, especially the changes that I’m seeing in all of us.  

One part of the Thrive materials that we’re using calls for allowing for a time of ‘clearing’ during every meeting, if it’s needed. Clearing is “…an opportunity to provide clarity to an issue, resolve any misunderstandings, or provide a format for conflict resolution leading to reconciliation” (taken from Thrive Ministries Leadership Manual, page 37). The manual goes on to say: “When a clearing is announced it can create a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety in the room” (page 36).

Our group definitely felt fear when the topic of clearings was first explored. We were all pretty tense during the first few months of walking through the time of clearings. There are four levels of clearings, and each of them seemed to carry their own level of fear within our group:

• Clarity
• Misunderstandings
• Unintentional Harm
• Deep Clearing

We have clearings nearly every week. Now, however, there is very little fear present when it’s time for this part of our gathering. Instead, they are actually looked forward to. I think the reason why is because this is the time when real relationships and trust are being formed. They bring out the real in each of us. It’s so easy to hide behind what we know to be true. But clearings bring out in each of us how much we are unable to walk in the truths we hold so dear. They show us the limits of our love, the limits of our trust. When this is done in the context of upholding each person’s dignity and being willing to fight for the person and not against him or her, each of us is strengthened in our walk of truth, love, kindness and mercy. Because there is only a desire for reconciliation, our hearts are knitted closer together, not torn apart during clearings. This, to me, is part of what authentic relationships look like.

If you’ve never been part of a group where you were able to bring up a problem you have with someone and have it talked through and resolved with love and integrity, you’ll be so encouraged as you begin to make your way through a clearing session. They teach us what real love and real relationships are made of, and that’s something most of us have not found in many groups we’ve been part of. Nothing is swept under the rug and it is so refreshing each and every time.

If you’re ready to step into the real, consider starting a Thrive group. I had no idea how much it would change our lives, but watching the transformation happen a little bit at at time has made me so grateful that we embarked on this journey.

The following is an excerpt from Thrive Year 1 Quarter 2 Workbook.  The ethics are a way of operating in the group as a community.  Groups review the list of ethics each quarter as a way of participating.

For a free digital copy of our Leadership Manual, send us an email.

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Be a beginner. Move with a sense of discovery and humility as though you have something to learn, even in areas that you are familiar or even an expert.

Engage the process as a participant. A participant is someone who is actively engaging in God’s mission of restoration.  This does not require activity at all times.  It means a willingness to listen and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit into the areas needing restoration.

Take a prudent risk. Prudence is cautious action forward.  Learn to step outside of your comfort zone for the sake of your own restoration.

Own your own actions. Use “I” statements.  Don’t speak “You do this,” or “We do this,” statements.  Don’t generalize them as absolutes for everyone.

Earn the right to be heard. Earn the trust of those around you by making offers of help with discretion. Do not assume you know the answer to someone’s problem.

Protect the dignity of those around you. You validate your own dignity by recognizing and protecting the dignity of others.

Work patiently towards each other’s wholeness. Wholeness is the intended goal of the group.  You must find the delicate balance between allowing someone the freedom to sit quietly and following the leading of the Holy Spirit to push someone at the appropriate moment.

You have the freedom to say no. Throughout the journey you will encounter moments that you need time to process what is happening as opposed to just moving forward.  Grant that freedom to others as well.

Practice trust with each other. Each person in your group has taken a risk to be part of the journey.  Grant each other trust even through the process of reconciliation.

Be real. Bring honesty to the group.  Don’t hide what is real.

Laugh with each other not at each other. Laughter is often the best medicine for what ails us but it can be a bitter pill when it is directed at someone.  NEVER laugh at someone’s expense.

Lead with grace and mercy, and whenever necessary, forgive. People will make mistakes, including leaders.

Practice integrity. Lead by example and do what you say you are going to do.