Excerpt – Being Heard

Sometimes we just need a space to be heard and to speak what is true regardless of how morally correct it is.  The following excerpt is from the Q4 Workbook – When God Breaks In.

———————————————

Objective #2 – Being Heard: Once a safe space has been created, the second objective is for each participant is to be heard, to speak what is going on in his/her heart and life.  Communicating what is going on in the heart is a vital work. So often what causes a breakdown in our personal lives is the fear that grips us from the unknown, the inability to deal with a problem, or denying what is true in the present.  By addressing it in a safe space, the participant can begin to see that he/she is not alone in the experience.  Others are there for support.  In communitas we can address and stand up to the fear with courage.

Often the tension of being heard is that we won’t be saying “the right thing.” Often we feel something that is not morally or politically correct so we deny the reality of how we feel.  We don’t want to say it because of how others will think of us.  Yet, in denying that reality, we are denying what is true in the moment, that we feel a certain way.  Instead of speaking it, we hide it, which allows it to embed itself into our lives and fester.

Integrity means first speaking what is true about how we feel so we can begin to root out what is not true.  It allows us to put words to the tension we are experiencing and to be honest about how we feel. But in speaking honestly we can begin to unpack what we feel, why we feel that way and the story behind it.

Most of the time really addressing the concern or fear and figuring out what the person feels about it provides very deep work.  This initial process allows the person familiarity with what is “really” going on and stepping into what is honest, even when it doesn’t feel morally right.    By putting language to the concern provides real meat to the matter.  It becomes something they can grab onto and work on.