One of the things we encourage in Thrive is the use of language around how we act.  Often we say thinks like, “I need to…,” or “I want to…,” or “I should….”  And we mean well.  But what if those statements betray us?  What if they are well meaning wishes that actually trick us into believing we’re doing something when we’re not?

When someone says, “I need to…,” they are defining a need, which seems good.  But what often happens is we think defining the a need means we are going to take care of the need.  And it doesn’t.  “I need to…,” or “I want to…,” is simply the recognition of need or want.  Nothing more.  Should is even worse because our motives are designed for us by someone else.  It doesn’t even matter what we think, which means we’re moving from obligation.  We call that “shoulding on ourselves.”

We hold that the more powerful move is, “I choose to….”  I choose is a declaration of action with intention.  It’s proactive and meaningful.  It requires commitment and purpose.  And when we choose to respond we are moving past apathy and into possibility.  It may not be the right choice but at least we’re moving, changing and ultimately growing.  And with grace, we’re headed in the right direction.

Recently the Barna Group published a survey asking both pastors and parishioners how each defines a “healthy, spiritually mature follower of Jesus.”  And the results were fairly sad.  The Christian Post covered the story and some of the results.

“Some defined it as having a relationship with Jesus (21 percent), following rules and being obedient (15 percent), living a moral lifestyle (14 percent), possessing concern about others (13 percent), being involved in spiritual disciplines (13 percent), applying the Bible (12 percent), being spiritual or having belief (8 percent), sharing their faith with others (6 percent), and being involved in church activities (5 percent).”

What is noticeably missing is the practice of love. It’s interesting that we have gotten so far away from the simplicity of following Jesus, who commanded us to love and trust.  It always came down to the fruit, which revealed maturity in our lives.

It feels like we are trying to make hard, what is made to be simple.  It’s not easy, but it is simple.

David Kinnaman, who led the study went on to say,

“As people begin to realize that the concepts and practices of spiritual maturity have been underdeveloped, the Christian community is likely to enter a time of renewed emphasis on discipleship, soul care, the tensions of truth and grace, the so-called ‘fruits’ of the spiritual life, and the practices of spiritual disciplines.”

I think David gets it.  We have to go back to the fruit.  As human beings designed in the image of God we are created for love and trust, to be in relationship, and to be creative in those pursuits.  Maybe it’s as simple as Jesus’ own words.

John 13:34-35 – “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

As human beings we live in stories.  The Bible is one grand story.  A central part of the journey is hearing our own stories.  To help foster this approach, each teaching includes a story of real life, one that hopefully captures the dissonance, joy, tension, and wonder we all face. The following story is from the Q6 Workbook – Into The Desert.

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6.01 – Stories – Hungry

Sarah had never seen such a voracious appetite from anyone.  The woman with the blue shirt seemed to shove the food in her mouth, the pockets of her stuffed cheeks looked like two mice bouncing up and down to the rhythm of her chewing.  She had stacked three plates full of food in front of her, more than she could possibly eat.  “There’s more food,” Sarah said.

At first the woman didn’t say anything, more engrossed in the act of eating.  But then she stopped and stared at Sarah.  It was a penetrating stare that said, “How can you possibly know what I’ve been through.”

Sarah had joined the Red Cross out of college with the desire to make a real change in the world.  Her dad had been a lawyer enjoying a successful career in tax law and hoped she would do the same.  She wanted to see the political side of the world and use what she thought were real resources available to a hungry world.  Her new role allowed her to actually target disaster areas and bring needed food and supplies where most needed.  There hadn’t been a day yet that she regretted her decision.

She was now leading a team serving the Galveston region, which had been devastated by Hurricane Charles. Several larger buildings had collapsed and rescue efforts had discovered the woman trapped underneath a building for nine days.  Her only water source was the rain that had dripped over her face as she was trapped between rubble.  Physically, she was in decent shape but as she devoured the food her hands shook, a physical reminder of the toll it had taken.

“Can I get you some water?” Sarah asked.

“Do you have any grape soda?” the woman responded.

“No.   We have water and Gatorade.”

“The woman scratched her head, as though the decision required more thinking than she was prepared to do.  “Do you have any coffee?”

“Yes,” Sarah said, realizing she had a coffee, too.  She turned to get the coffee and hit the corner of the table with her leg.  Something was different and it was capturing her attention.  Sarah had been through a few large scale “events” as her boss liked to call the operations.  She had even heard of the teams who served Africa and the level of poverty that were common there, but something in this woman seemed to jar her senses.  This was the first time she had seen someone affected to this degree by the lack of food.

She thought back to her childhood and could not remember a time when she went without food.  She had fasted before but the reality was that she could always eat if she wanted to.  As she poured the coffee, she turned to look at the woman.  She wondered what the woman must have been feeling at this moment to feel the need to devour her food.  There were no words in her vocabulary to describe the element of poverty this woman was feeling.

The wet rains had been almost constant following the hurricane and the second they stopped everyone in the building noticed.  The moment served as a reminder that the worst was coming to an end.