Elusive Authentic Community

The other day my tribe had a very deep conversation about how valuable our experience together has been after two years together.  We were recognizing that we had reached a space of shared trust that was unique in our lives.  And I commented to the group that this authentic community we were experiencing was earned.  It came BECAUSE we had taken the risk to journey together.  It came because we had done the hard work of relationship.  The valuable was made possible because we were willing to face our fears.  We had discovered that those fears did not define us.  We had discovered that authentic community really was possible.

And this moment really stood out to me.  It was the recognition that authentic community is not cheap.  It must be earned.  If it were easy, everyone would experience it.  But it’s not easy.  It’s hard.  It means facing our fears in relationships and working through our salvation in a meaningful way.

And the hardest part in sharing with people about Thrive is that this awareness of authentic community cannot be given.  It can be shared but it must be earned. And as much as I want to just give this to people, I can’t.  I can’t reach in, pull it out and place it in other people.  It is an experience that must be worked for.

And then I came across this short video by author and pastor Shane Hipps explores the four necessary ingredients for authentic community.

Shared History: It helps establish a sense of identity and belonging.

Permanence: Something fixed or consistent.  It is how you get shared history.

Proximity: You have to be with one another over time to create a meaningful connections.

Shared Imagination of the Future: A sense of we’re all going in the same direction.

And I realized that these were keys ingredients in the context of Thrive.  Each was a critical part of what we were doing together in our tribes.  We didn’t invent any of these ingredients.  We had just discovered them as part of what we were doing.

Shared history only comes through time and trust.  We needed a space of sharing our histories, our lives, our struggles in a space of honesty. We needed a space in our lives to deal with what is really happening in our world and in our heart.  And unless we actually stepped into a space of trust and shared our stories, we missed one of the key ingredients.

Permanence comes through having something consistent.  We use a protocol that helps foster dialog about our own restoration.  We stick with God’s narrative as a story of what God has already done and what we get to participate in.  This consistency creates a trust in the process because we know what we’re getting into on a regular basis.

Proximity means gathering together consistently.  We have to be together in the same room on a regular basis.  We have to be in the same room to hear the stories and experience each other’s work, struggles, joys and restoration.  When we don’t show up we miss those stories that just might have been what we needed to hear.

Shared Imagination for us in Thrive groups is engaging God’s mission of restoration and reconciliation. It means following in the footsteps of Jesus and participating in what God is already doing.  Many call this communitas, or community in mission together.  We are in essence designed to look like Jesus.

Hipps commented that a Shared Imagination of the Future was the hardest of the four.  I wrestle with that in some respects because our future is found in Jesus.  The image is there.  But gaining an understanding of what that truly looks like in our lives from experience is the hardest, because it first means going through our brokenness.  It means stepping out of our comfort zones and protective mechanisms.  And we hate doing that.

But I would offer that the journey together is worth it.

If you are looking to create this type of space, we can help.  Contact us today to get a free digital copy of our leadership manual.

—————————————————–

Jonathan Brink is the Managing Director of Thrive Ministries.  He digs exploring what Jesus is doing in today’s world and reveling in that.