Clearing The Way To Reconciliation

The Thrive group that I’m part of just finished our second quarter. We had a mini-retreat last weekend and we’ll be starting our third quarter next week.  I’ve been reflecting on our past two quarters, especially the changes that I’m seeing in all of us.  

One part of the Thrive materials that we’re using calls for allowing for a time of ‘clearing’ during every meeting, if it’s needed. Clearing is “…an opportunity to provide clarity to an issue, resolve any misunderstandings, or provide a format for conflict resolution leading to reconciliation” (taken from Thrive Ministries Leadership Manual, page 37). The manual goes on to say: “When a clearing is announced it can create a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety in the room” (page 36).

Our group definitely felt fear when the topic of clearings was first explored. We were all pretty tense during the first few months of walking through the time of clearings. There are four levels of clearings, and each of them seemed to carry their own level of fear within our group:

• Clarity
• Misunderstandings
• Unintentional Harm
• Deep Clearing

We have clearings nearly every week. Now, however, there is very little fear present when it’s time for this part of our gathering. Instead, they are actually looked forward to. I think the reason why is because this is the time when real relationships and trust are being formed. They bring out the real in each of us. It’s so easy to hide behind what we know to be true. But clearings bring out in each of us how much we are unable to walk in the truths we hold so dear. They show us the limits of our love, the limits of our trust. When this is done in the context of upholding each person’s dignity and being willing to fight for the person and not against him or her, each of us is strengthened in our walk of truth, love, kindness and mercy. Because there is only a desire for reconciliation, our hearts are knitted closer together, not torn apart during clearings. This, to me, is part of what authentic relationships look like.

If you’ve never been part of a group where you were able to bring up a problem you have with someone and have it talked through and resolved with love and integrity, you’ll be so encouraged as you begin to make your way through a clearing session. They teach us what real love and real relationships are made of, and that’s something most of us have not found in many groups we’ve been part of. Nothing is swept under the rug and it is so refreshing each and every time.

If you’re ready to step into the real, consider starting a Thrive group. I had no idea how much it would change our lives, but watching the transformation happen a little bit at at time has made me so grateful that we embarked on this journey.